and i grew up
on alcoholic evenings and slow jazz music to keep my heart beating
because after all that happens in a dissolving family
the need for a song to sing me to sleep still rings true
and i always knew
that there wasn't glue strong enough to sew these roots together
and now that i've wasted too many years
and i've lost track of where i started
i have to dream at night of who i was and why after twenty years of marriage
i am what is left and i'd like to go back now
and make myself up
i'd be a brick so i wouldn't feel
and i'd lift myself up
i'd throw myself at this house
to break windows and smash walls
just to keep time where it was and where it should be.